November

In just a few days, we’re going to decide who is worthy of marriage in California. If each voter had to look their LGBT friend, neighbor, or relative in the eye as they pulled the lever, Proposition 8 would fail by a huge margin. Unfortunately, ballots will be completed in the privacy of a dining room or voting booth. It’s in those dark recesses that the mind runs to fear and misunderstanding.

I believe it’s important to remember that the opposition is not full of hatred. There are some, no doubt, that hate, and they exist on both sides of the argument. But the vast majority of people fall in between the extremes and are motivated by fear of differences, fear of changes, fear of the unknown. Sometimes these emotions masquerade as hate.

We need to help our fellow travelers along their journey, not by telling them they are bad people, but by helping them understand a broader range of people, thoughts and situations.  For several years, I taught diversity classes as work. At first, I thought, “How can you teach someone to appreciate diversity? Either they do or they don’t.” I soon realized that talking through their fears and misunderstandings helped them travel from one place to another.

We are on a positive trajectory in our understanding and acceptance of each others’ differences. We have made significant progress and there is still a long way to go. But seeing the “other side” as moving along a continuum should help us deal with them where they are. We might not get them on the interstate today, but maybe we can get them across town. Or maybe just get them to back out of their parking space.

As Mark Twain said, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” Let’s all get on the road.

With optimism and hope,
Loring Fiske-Phillips

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